First dates are not always exciting. They are awkward and usually involve some kind of drink or meal that you’d rather not share with a stranger.
Then there’s always that hesistant question at forefront of both your minds: Are we going to have sex later or not?
First-date sex has become a controversial topic over the years, with many people still believing in the shameful stigma attached to it.
Despite our generally enlightened attitudes in this new-age hookup culture, we’re still viewing sex on the first date as a make-or-break moment, leaving most of us to agonize over what the right move is.
Everybody is so caught up in society’s expectation of us that we disregard our own personal desires. We’re too busy trying to decipher what the other person is thinking that we don’t listen to what we actually want.
Well, if you’ve been racking your brain about whether it’s right or wrong to have sex on the first date, Laura Argintar simplifies it here with 7 science-backed reasons why it’s totally okay to get it on if you want:
He won’t think less of you: A 2013 Cosmopolitan poll found that 83 percent of women believe men will think less of a woman who has sex on the first date. But the reality is that the majority of guys, specifically 67 percent of those polled, maintain they absolutely don’t. So we can now all put this common fear behind us — the numbers don’t lie. Your decision to have sex is your own; it’s not about him. Regardless, guys who are interested in you and want to see you will still follow up and pursue you — especially after they’ve seen you naked.
You’ll keep him coming back for more: Who says that having sex on the first date will turn away guys? Have you met them? They love sex! If you’re confident and enjoy what you’re doing, then they’ll be more inclined to return for seconds. In this scenario, having sex on the first date actually benefits you and increases your chances of a second meeting. Remember too that men are pretty basic when it comes to dating and sex. If they like you, they like you.
Cuts the sexual tension: If you don’t have sex early on, the pressure to have it builds too greatly. Each subsequent date becomes a constant mind-game of “Should I keep waiting? He’s taken me on three dates, should I just do it?” When sexual tension builds, you’re likely to become more awkward and over-analytical about why it’s not happening. Think like a Frenchwoman and don’t be afraid to take a bite out of that baguette!
Chemistry is chemistry: You don’t need to turn sex on the first date into this momentous decision. If you both are into each other, then there’s no good reason not to enjoy each other more.
They want it: According to the 2012 Singles In America study, 41 percent of New York men regard sex on the first date as “very appropriate” or “somewhat appropriate.” So don’t be hesitant on the guy’s behalf. Chances are he wants it just as badly as you do, and he isn’t condemning the act either.
You find out if you’re really connected: Sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship. By having sex on the first date, you get to establish that special connection early on. And if it’s enjoyable, it’ll only increase your attraction to one another. “In this day and age, more people recognize sex as an important component of a successful relationship, not something to be ashamed of,” says Justin Lehmiller, PhD, a social psychologist at Harvard who studies relationships and sexuality.
You get to have sex: Even if you eventually find out you hate this person, at least you haven’t wasted your time. Stop stressing about how it appears and look on the brightside, you’re getting it in! Philip N. Cohen, a sociology professor at the University of Maryland, assuages all our fearful reluctance with some profound logic: at the end of the day, it’s not about sex, it’s about your attraction to one another. All that matters is how much the couple like and are attracted to each other, which determines how many dates they have, and whether the guy calls back. It appears that the first-date-sex couples usually don’t last because people don’t know each other very well on first dates and they have a high rate of failure regardless of sex.
This isn’t restricted to American men only. Some Nigerian guys have admitted that sex on the first date is not a shameful thing. In fact, ladies who are bold enough to take the step “score points” with the guy in question for this.
It’s a matter of two adults getting down together out of mutual consent and feelings. No drama there!
So what are you waiting for?